Dialogue tags versus action tags

This is an area where most publishers have “house style” rules which must be followed. So if you are submitting to a specific publisher you need to follow their rules even if they aren’t what you’d prefer.

Most fiction publishers these days allow some action tags to be used as dialogue tags. By this I mean “he grunted”, “she squealed” are acceptable. Generally speaking, “he nodded” is not as it’s a silent move.

Another thing to watch is that while many literary workshops strongly encourage the use of words other than “said”, many readers of popular fiction find an endless list of “she snorted”, “she laughed”, “he groaned”, “he rasped”, intensely annoying. It pulls them out of the story. If it’s quite clear who is speaking, and if their action makes the descriptor unnecessary (they are running away from the bad guy while he speaks, so unless he is very fit, the reader can guess “he gasped”) you don’t need a dialogue tag at all. A brief section of dialogue with no tags at all can be much more dramatic and immediate than even the most creative of dialogue tags.

Which do you prefer?
“Is the bad guy still chasing us?” asked the heroine.
The hero glanced over his shoulder. “Yes, sweet one, I’m afraid he is,” the hero explained.
“Oh dear,” she replied.

“Is the bad guy still chasing us?
The hero glanced over his shoulder. “Yes, sweet one, I’m afraid he is.”
“Oh dear.”

In the second version it’s quite clear who is speaking, and the pace is faster, more appropriate for a chase scene.


Helen Woodall
helen.woodall@gmail.com
Helen is available to line edit and/ or content edit fiction and non-fiction. Rates on application.

Is “said” dead?

Recently Book Daily published a series of articles by writers about the use of the word “said”.

In the interests of full disclosure, I need to say I consider “said” the single most useful dialogue tag in fiction writing. This is because readers tend to ignore it and keep reading. That’s great news for authors trying to hook readers.
Other tags may be much more descriptive and more emotional, more arousing, more decisive and lots of other adjectives as well. But they can also pull the reader out of the story and get them thinking about the author instead of the story.

Anyhow, that’s just my opinion.

Melissa Eskue Ousley began the discussion opposing the use of “said” here: http://www.bookdaily.com/authorresource/blog/post/1771430

June Trop’s follow-up article is here: http://www.bookdaily.com/authorresource/blog/post/1819128.
There are also a multitude of comments and links attached to those articles. Go, read about it for yourself.

Helen Woodall
helen.woodall@gmail.com

Helen is available to line edit and/ or content edit fiction and non-fiction. Rates on application.

The top 12 reasons manuscripts are rejected

Ylva Publishing has recently celebrated their first anniversary. One of the things they did was a blog listing the 12 most common reasons why they rejected a manuscript.
It’s worth all authors taking a look. Obviously, depending on the genre you write, not everything will be applicable to you. But I’m sure you’ll still find hints for improvement.
1. The author is telling instead of showing
2. The point of view isn’t consistent
3. The opening failed to hook the reader
4. The author is dumping too much information on the reader
5. The plot lacks conflict and suspense
6. The characters are one-dimensional and flat
7. The development of the characters and their relationships is unrealistic
8. The manuscript contains scenes and passages that don’t move the story forward
9. The ending is illogical, rushed, or dragged out
10. The dialogue is unrealistic
11. The sex scenes are not a good fit for the book
12. The manuscript is riddled with grammar and spelling mistakes

http://ylvapublishing.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/the-top-12-reasons-manuscripts-are-rejected/

Helen Woodall
helen.woodall@gmail.com

Helen is available to line edit and/ or content edit fiction and non-fiction. Rates on application.

And the best dialog tag is…

When you decide to write popular fiction, some of the things your High School English teacher carefully drummed into your mind have to be discarded. One of those things is always using different words for dialogue tags.

Now, when you write poetry, every word counts. Each syllable has to have rhythm and meaning. Therefore repeating a word is wasting an opportunity. The writer wants the reader to remember each word, to say the lines out loud and ponder them, getting every ounce of meaning from each word.

But with popular fiction, the writer’s aim is to keep the reader reading all the way to the end of the book. The last thing this author wants, is for the reader to jump up for a dictionary or thesaurus, decide to make a cup of coffee while she’s up, and never finish reading the book. If she doesn’t finish reading this book, she’s unlikely to buy any of your other books.

Therefore instead of saying “he exhorted”, a better thing to do is show him waving his arms and exhorting the crowd, and use the dialogue tag at the end, “he said”. That way you’ve enticed the reader with the drama of his actions, and not pulled her from the story with your dialogue tag.

Almost all of those fifty words your English teacher made you memorize to use instead of "said", can be demonstrated with actions. SHOWN to the reader instead of telling the reader. And therefore replaced with the best dialogue tag of all, the one readers never even notice. Said.

Helen Woodall

helen.woodall@gmail.com

Helen is available to line edit and/ or content edit fiction and non-fiction. Rates on application.

Boo, hiss, groan I say.

The hero and heroine have been captured by the villain. He’s taken them to a dungeon to torture them. 

“Tell me all your secrets or I’ll kill you,” hissed the villain, waving an enormous sword.

“Oh dear, my precious. I think we’re in trouble,” groaned the hero.

“Perhaps we should run away,” wailed the heroine. 

Now you say it all out aloud. Hiss the villain’s line, groan the hero’s line, and wail the heroine’s line.

You can’t do it can you? Apart from the fact the hero’s line is laughably unheroic, you can only hiss sibilants. If the villain had hissed “Yessss,” that might work. But he really ought to be yelling or threatening, or even “said” would do.

Save “groan” for the hero until after he’s been stabbed by the sword, and keep the words to something he really could groan. “Ow” for example.

Wailing is a little harder. Perhaps, “Let’s goooo.” 

Before you pull out a thesaurus and find sound effects for the critical moment of your book, practice saying the lines out loud. You may save yourself from having your reader laugh when she should be biting her nails with fear. 

Helen Woodall

helen.woodall@gmail.com

Helen is available to line edit and/ or content edit fiction and non-fiction. Rates on application.

Dialogue tags versus action tags

This is an area where most publishers have “house style” rules which must be followed. So if you are submitting to a specific publisher you need to follow their rules even if they aren’t what you’d prefer.

Most fiction publishers these days allow some action tags to be used as dialogue tags. By this I mean “he grunted”, “she squealed” are acceptable. Generally speaking, “he nodded” is not as it’s a silent move.

Another thing to watch is that while many literary workshops strongly encourage the use of words other than “said”, many readers of popular fiction find an endless list of “she snorted”, “she laughed”, “he groaned”, “he rasped”, intensely annoying. It pulls them out of the story. If it’s quite clear who is speaking, and if their action makes the descriptor unnecessary (they are running away from the bad guy while he speaks, so unless he is very fit, the reader can guess “he gasped”) you don’t need a dialogue tag at all. A brief section of dialogue with no tags at all can be much more dramatic and immediate than even the most creative of dialogue tags.

Which do you prefer?

“Is the bad guy still chasing us?” asked the heroine.

The hero glanced over his shoulder. “Yes, sweet one, I’m afraid he is,” hero explained.

“Oh dear,” she replied.

“Is the bad guy still chasing us?"

The hero glanced over his shoulder. “Yes, sweet one, I’m afraid he is.”

“Oh dear.”

In the second version it’s quite clear who is speaking, and the pace is faster, more appropriate for a chase scene.