Way back in the eighteenth century, or thereabouts,
sentences were long because ladies sat in their drawing rooms, while Mama read
out the latest book, sentence by sentence, for the young women to dissect, also
sentence by sentence, comma by semicolon, while they all discussed all the
descriptions therein. It was only after a page or three they would stop to work
out the actual story behind the sentences. These days an editor would put a big
fat red line (or possibly a track changed red comment) on the opening sentence
of this blog and say “49 words. Too long. Cut into 3 short sentences for
clarity”.
Readers today want their description in
bite-sized chunks. They don’t want to stop and decide whether the punctuation
required an extra comma or semicolon here or there, or if the curtains on the
withdrawing room windows would have been prettier with an extra ruffle of French
lace. They want to know if the villain catches the hero right now.
As a fiction author, your job is to keep
the reader reading right to the very last line of the book. Only then do you
want them wondering about window decorations or anything other than the characters
and what is happening to them.
Of course you do need to vary the sentence
structure somewhat. Every sentence starting with “The hero…” gets boring fast
and will not keep the reader entertained. As for the curtains, show them
flapping in the breeze, the French lace billowing (or whatever). Your reader
will fill the gaps to their own satisfaction.
And yes, sentences can be too short. Fragmentary.
Boring. Although fragments can add a lot of tension to a pivotal scene. But don’t
do it too often.
Keep writing!
Helen Woodall
Helen is available to line edit and/ or content
edit fiction and non-fiction. Rates on application.
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