Saturday, October 20, 2012

Bar Jokes for Grammar Geeks

·         A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
·         A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
·         A question mark walks into a bar?
·         Two quotation marks “walk into” a bar.
·         The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
·         Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
·         What would have happened had a subjunctive walked into a bar?
·         An antecedent walked into a bar, and they ordered a drink.
·         An ellipsis walked into a bar…
·         Bartender asks a woman what she wants. “An entendre,” she says. “Make it a double.” So he gives it to her.
·         An alliteration traipsed into a tavern, where it tangled tempestuously with an insistent, illiterate intern.
·         A typo wakled into a bar.
·         A rabbi, a priest, and a cliché walk into a bar.
·         Two possessive apostrophe's walk into the bar as if they owned the place.
·         A subject and a verb have a disagreement in a bar, and one of them pull out a pistol.
·         A heedless homonym walks into a bar. You think he wood of scene it write in front of him.
·         The Oxford Comma joined in a high-spirited debate at the bar that included his parents, Ayn Rand and the Bishop of Canterbury.

If you don't understand any of these jokes, please feel free to leave a comment or email me.

Helen Woodall

Helen is available to line edit and/ or content edit fiction and non-fiction. Rates on application.


anny cook said...

Excellent. In a bar.

Helen Woodall: Freelance Editing said...

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Anonymous said...

Is the "two possessive apostrophe's" apostrophe supposed to be part of the joke?

Loved these!

P.S. The first person walked into a bar. Now I have a whopping bruise on my forehead.

Helen Woodall: Freelance Editing said...

Hi Deborah,
Yes, since the apostrophes are incorrect I expect that's supposed to be funny.
Nice addition to the jokes. Well done.