Saturday, October 20, 2012

Bar Jokes for Grammar Geeks



·         A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
·         A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
·         A question mark walks into a bar?
·         Two quotation marks “walk into” a bar.
·         The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
·         Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
·         What would have happened had a subjunctive walked into a bar?
·         An antecedent walked into a bar, and they ordered a drink.
·         An ellipsis walked into a bar…
·         Bartender asks a woman what she wants. “An entendre,” she says. “Make it a double.” So he gives it to her.
·         An alliteration traipsed into a tavern, where it tangled tempestuously with an insistent, illiterate intern.
·         A typo wakled into a bar.
·         A rabbi, a priest, and a cliché walk into a bar.
·         Two possessive apostrophe's walk into the bar as if they owned the place.
·         A subject and a verb have a disagreement in a bar, and one of them pull out a pistol.
·         A heedless homonym walks into a bar. You think he wood of scene it write in front of him.
·         The Oxford Comma joined in a high-spirited debate at the bar that included his parents, Ayn Rand and the Bishop of Canterbury.


If you don't understand any of these jokes, please feel free to leave a comment or email me.

Helen Woodall

Helen is available to line edit and/ or content edit fiction and non-fiction. Rates on application.



4 comments:

  1. Is the "two possessive apostrophe's" apostrophe supposed to be part of the joke?

    Loved these!
    Deborah

    P.S. The first person walked into a bar. Now I have a whopping bruise on my forehead.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Deborah,
    Yes, since the apostrophes are incorrect I expect that's supposed to be funny.
    Nice addition to the jokes. Well done.
    Helen

    ReplyDelete