A writer is said to be using passive voice when the subject
of the sentence is who it happens to, rather than who dun it. Very occasionally
this may be a good way to build up tension in the story, but as a general rule,
it slows the story down and lifts the reader out of the action. Therefore it’s
best to avoid using it.
The door was opened by the hero as he entered the room.
Seriously, that’s a pretty boring sentence. It’s passive.
The hero opened the door and entered the room.
That’s better.
Better still would be actions showing us how the hero
entered the room. Most people open the door first. That's not exactly newsworthy. Did he kick it down? Slam it
open? Peek around the corner first to see if the heroine was inside? Any of
those would not only be active voice, but much more interesting to read.
Also they show us what happens instead of telling us, which
is what the author should be aiming for.
The hero opened the door. He was angry.
Yes, so what.
The hero kicked the door open and raced into the room, fists
clenched.
Ah, now we’re with him, wanting to read on.
Helen Woodall
Helen is available to line edit and/ or content edit fiction and
non-fiction. Rates on application.
No comments:
Post a Comment