Colloquial speech, local dialects and bad grammar

Not all bad guys use bad grammar. Some are very suave and sophisticated. Similarly, not all persons doing minimum wage jobs use bad grammar either.

Every person from Scotland does not use “wee” or “drap” in every second sentence, nor does every Australian call you “mate”.

Typecasting happens because there are similarities inside groups. An Australian is far more likely to call you “mate” than an American person is, but both of them are more likely to use your given name.

Please don’t typecast your characters. If that strong young man on the road crew drops his mallet on his toe he probably will swear. But then, so would a doctor or lawyer. And all of them are equally likely to say invite (verb) instead of invitation (noun) because they’re probably all on Facebook. But there is no excuse for bad grammar in narrative. Nor is there need for endless “local color” in dialogue. The lady in the Scottish hotel may offer your hero “A wee drap” of something alcoholic to drink. But leave it there. Don’t overload your story with colloquialisms or poor grammar.

Helen Woodall

The ingredients for a good book

Characters. If the reader cannot relate to your characters she will not continue reading. She may love them or hate them, but the author has to draw the reader into their lives so she keeps reading. If a character is Too Stupid To Live (eg. walking alone into a possible murderer’s house) you will lose the reader right then and there.

These days, female characters are expected to make an effort to solve their own problems. The hero may still come riding up on his white horse to sweep her away, but she should have been endeavoring to solve her own problems, not crying in a corner and wringing her hands.

Plot. There must be a plot. It is through the plot the characters show their development. This plot has to make sense. No big gaping holes allowed. In an erotic romance the sex may be part of the plot, but there must be something else happening as well—a bad guy to defeat, the world to save, or whatever.

Genre: Be sure the blurb and publicity material accurately depict the genre. Don’t call it a cozy mystery if there is violence, blood and horror described carefully and at length. If you are marketing your book as an erotic romance there must be detailed sexual encounters as well as hot, steamy looks. Otherwise what you have written is a mainstream romance.

Fiction writing is a very tough, competitive world. Be sure to get these three basic necessities correct.

helen.woodall@gmail.com

Who or Whom and some comments about adverbs

Grammar book explains when to use who and when to use whom really well.
http://www.grammarbook.com/grammar/whoVwhom.asp

Use the he/him method to decide which word is correct.
he = who
him = whom

Examples:
Who/Whom wrote the letter?
He wrote the letter. Therefore, who is correct.

For who/whom should I vote?
Should I vote for him? Therefore, whom is correct.

We all know who/whom pulled that prank.
This sentence contains two clauses: We all know and who/whom pulled that prank. We are interested in the second clause because it contains the who/whom. He pulled that prank. Therefore, who is correct.

We want to know on who/whom the prank was pulled.
This sentence contains two clauses: We want to know and the prank was pulled on who/whom. Again, we are interested in the second clause because it contains the who/whom. The prank was pulled on him. Therefore, whom is correct.


I know many publishers/editors/agents hate adverbs, and that is because often if you delete them you have not removed any additional information.

The old man’s bones creaked and groaned as he slowly, gradually lowered himself into the armchair.
Take out gradually or slowly and you still have a clear picture of what happened.

Words like “just” and “actually” can almost always be deleted without changing the sense of the line.
I just walked in the room and saw him.
I walked in the room and saw him.

I actually walked in the room and saw him.
I walked in the room and saw him.

Some authors seem to think if they delete the suffix from a word it magically is not an adverb. Ah no. if you are using it as an adverb you’re now using incorrect grammar instead of the adverb.

When she stood on my toe I yelled loud.
No. You yelled loudly.
But since you can’t yell softly just "When she stood on my toe I yelled" would work fine.


Helen Woodall

Wandering Body Parts

Almost every reader has been pulled out of a story at some time by wandering body parts.

“His eyes were glued to her face.”
Ah no. His gaze may have been fixed on her face, but his eyes were probably still in his head, like normal.

“His feet raced to the door.”
What? The rest of him stayed behind?

“It might seem romantic to say, “He gave her his heart,” but to some people, who’ve watched too many horror movies, that is not a romantic image at all.

Some publishing houses have rules that prohibit body parts moving independently.
“His fingers wandered onto her thigh.” No, in these houses, he has to be in control, so “He let his fingers drift onto her thigh”. Besides, I’m betting those fingers were still attached to his hand, so therefore the second version makes more sense. Although, “He gently stroked her thigh” might be even better.

Before sending your book to a publishing house or agent, be sure to check it for wandering body parts. Even if self-publishing, always remember that some people will be icked by the thought of body organs having an out-of-body experience.

Helen Woodall